Hey D4ML, I sure appreciate the virtual hugs! Thanks for listening--it was tough yesterday but by the end of the day I was feeling a lot better.
The paranoid feelings come from just the "advesarial nature" of divorce I guess. I have a friend who tells me H is writing everything down (which I doubt--he can't type and he can barely write--he's dyslexic). But every night he is up from around 3 a.m. to 5:30 or so and is surfing the web. At least that is what I think he is doing, and his history is full of sites he visited--nothing weird or out of the ordinary for him (looking at airplane and glider stuff normally) He makes all kinds of racket when he is on the computer and wakes me up every night and then I sit and worry what he's doing. I think I may say something to him about it.
It has kept me from GAL too--I am super afraid of the whole custody thing I'm going to have to go through. If I leave and have fun during the evenings and weekends I think he'll use it against me. I try to do things during the day, but most people are working so that is hard, too. I wish I'd taken a class--that kept me very busy this summer. The only GAL activities I feel comfortable with is fixing up the house, but this is coming to an end, too, since he won't pay for anything more. I did get the new refridge put in the other day though--one appliance down and 2 to go!
I used to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity!! That was really fun, and now that S is older I may just look into that one again! Thanks for that reminder!!
You will have so much fun with your new house D4ML! There is nothing like having your own place to do with what you want!
