Perspective

[Ihavehope]

This is what I think he would say. This is what he has shared with me, plus some little mind reading I guess. He is not an oversharer by any means so this is truly all I have to go on.

'My wife and I met online over 6 years ago. We started as friends, but she got me to drop walls I didn't even know I had. I fell deeply in love with her. 

Then she broke my heart. She left me with NC for a month and a half. When she came back to me, there was a piece of me I never gave her back. 

After her mom died we moved in together. We had an opportunity for a better life together but she would not consent to do it unless we were married. I didn't want to lose her, but I wanted this opportunity, so I married her. I was not ready and felt pressured to marry her. I was young, and not totally ready to commit to the step dad role, but I did. I never really thought we would last forever. 

We moved across the country and things were stressful but not horrible. Then she got pregnant. I was happy but scared. A child of my own made everything harder- harder to handle, harder to leave, an I kind of panicked.  My wife paid more attention to the kids, house, and computer than to me. She wouldn't spend any quality time with me, even when I asked. She always had something else to do. She threatened to leave me several times, further building that wall. 

For a year and a half I have been miserable and checked out of the marriage. She wasn't a bad person, she just didn't want to put in the effort I thought she should. So I started having a very close relationship with a coworker. She was there for me in ways my wife couldn't be, she was young, spontaneous, care free and didn't come with children. By now my wife realized something was very wrong  with our marriage but I was so done by this point I ignored her pleas to work on us. I thought it was sad that it had had to get to this point for her to see.  In fact it pushed me farther and farther away from her until I told her I was done. 

I still love her as a person, but not as a husband. I want to help her as I know I am leaving her in a bad spot. I don't think i could ever be in love with her again, she's just done too much. I don't think I can get past it. I've not been single on 10 years and I'm looking forward to being able to live my life exactly as I want, with no obligation or answers. As long as I am there for my daughter, my life will be much better alone. I will have more fun and less stress. I have a lot of friends so I won't be lonely. I am getting a promotion and will have more money. I can sleep where I want, when I want, and not have to hear the nagging. It is the right choice. 

The kids will be fine because we will be friends and they won't understand. My wife will be fine, she's done this before. I will be fine because I will be happy. '