my 1st post - H "done" w/marriage need help

[NotFromThesePart]

anniemc,

Welcome. Keep doing what you are doing. I think you will find a lot of us here with similar, albeit unique versions of the same story.
I have felt a similar sense of “I'm so afraid that the journey is coming to an end.” One this I am learning is that this is wrong. It has come to an end, or at least has taken a turn in another direction. So take advantage of it. Use the time not to worry about him, but think about what you want.
For me it is happening very fast. I have realized that I didn’t start this, and while I feel my W is making a mistake, it is her mistake, all I can do is keep my $#!t together. If and when she is ready, then I can be her rock, but until she is ready I am moving forward with my life. It hasn’t taken long to realize that I’m not the only one who MUST change to make it work.
If you feel at all like I do, you need to move forward, read, post, exercise, cook, clean, go to church, therapy. Whatever works for you. Do things that are unequivocally good for you. And remember that just because they are good for you does not mean you are being selfish. Getting a gym membership, taking a cooking class, or learning to fly fish are only good things. It is not a zero sum game. Expect the guilt trips, expect it to get worse. But do things you’ll be proud of. It will get better. You are on a new journey. Be open to letting your H join you on it, but realize you can’t force him.

Good luck.