thanks a million sandi again for your words. it is funny how life is. came home late last night from working 2nd shift to find the whole fam camped out in 3 season porch. place for me too. nice family thing. morning started off alright but as God would have it, my wayward wife and I end up in BR around 5p talking while little one naps on bed. she continues to imply i am crazy w/ my accusations. i was intending on busting her in a few days but i thought there is no time like the present. boom. in a very factual way, i laid out my evidence. airtight. she became quiet. still denying it. went downstairs for dinner. i kept on commenting on things indirectly. she held on.
after dinner, i decided to email the OM a letter like Penny Tupy recommends. i sent it to his wife also. not even 15 min later she calls me. she does not sound surprised. i am hearing this man roaring in background. absolute denial.
he wants to talk to me. no. i will not i tell her. i lay out the evidence. she asks for hardcopy. i email the pdf files. she calls me back, we talk. finally he also tries calling me 4-6 times. leaves voicemail. "call me so we can talk like men." f-u. i text him back and tell him that "u r not a man. i owe u zero. you are not worthy of respect. you are beneath me. your behavior was contemptible. you prey on women." i will not talk on phone trying to reason w/ this fool. apparently his wife tells me over several diff calls and emails that he has already done this at least twice w/ 2 other women who also went to grammar school with this fool just like my wife did.
ultimately he finally admits the whole thing to his wife. he lives in FL, we r in CT. he was working in NY for the past 6 months w/ marriage trouble too. now he is apparently coming back for a job. what a mess. i can only hope that i will not have to pursue this legally. i am not sure if my wife intends on aggressively pursuing divorce but we live in small town. nice. good schools. she is well known. ironic that she is a catechist! it is a bad tv movie and would be funny if it were not my life.
puppy and allen have it right. thank u a million allen for the penny tupy refs. awesome stuff. i read it twice. part 1 anyway. unfortunately i had to accelerate the intervention and would have preferred to have family close by or present. i already wrote long email w/ all evidence. i can add pdf's to it as well.
i did not lose my cool at all. the kids were all around and they were joking that daddy is a stalker. little do they know and may they never will until later on in life? u r so right. i keep on telling myself that his creature now asleep is not that girl i proposed to and married. how else could u explain someone who hooks up on the internet w/ a married father of four, contemplates moving out of state w/ our 5 kids to be closer to him, all the while leading the good life of mother/catechist/former member of pto executive board/member of the junior women's club? it IS an addiction. TOTALLY agree.
MWD's take on infidelity did not seem right to me either. i am no expert but hoping that something like this would go away w/ my wife finally recognizing my 180s? no. too much pie in the sky in that one.
i am not quite in protection yet. have to get the word out. i will spread it on facebook to all of his friends as well as his family. i will try to find where his new job will be and call that employer. i will tell our family and some friends as well.
last thing. her really close friend called this am and i picked up the phone. i tried conveying my concerns about someone else to her. she would have none of it. well. tomorrow will be diff bc i have the proof to back it up. and the confession as well which the OMW sent to me a little while ago. he fessed up.
if he does end up coming to NY, what can i do? she is crazed and illogical. not thinking straight. i know this. will I really need to seek legal counsel? ultimately if D is in the cards, and may God will it to not be so, i would prefer no lawyers bc we have no big assets other than our house and the equity line will wipe out any profit thus zero to minimal $.
i am thinking about suspending her phone service and gym membership which she cherishes. she really loves this boot camp thing. i do not want to seem too vindictive but... i think she is also using a prepaid phone bc his wife confirmed a local number w/ our area code in her husband's phone records. she was very nice and accepting. she said 3 strikes here so...
i am sorry this post is so long but cannot help it. no one i can talk to right now. i do not know where to stop. m tired but fingers have life of their own i guess. it is lonely and agonizing sometimes to be LBS. tough love works. hopefully.
