Perspective

[Faith2010]

I'll give it a shot:

My W and I have been married for 16 years. We have had ups and downs..actually a lot of downs. We have tried again and again to make this M work and we just can't do it.

I've been feeling really down since I returned from Afghanistan. I have no one to talk to. My W has no idea what it was like and I can't tell her, she won't understand. Instead I spend more and more time alone. It's peaceful when I'm alone.

I met someone on the Internet. She is like a breath of fresh air. She is also having some marital problems and completely understands what I am going through. She listens to me. She's nice to me. She makes me feel young again. I have feelings for her that I haven't had for my W in years, if ever. I can talk to her for hours.

W found out about OW and is unbearable. We constantly fight. W is always nagging me to stop being friends with OW. How is that fair? We are just friends. I can be friends with someone of the opposite sex, I'm not a child. W says it's an affair. How stupid is she? It's not like I'm sleeping with OW.

W gave me an ultimatum. Either I stop being friends with OW or I move out. I don't like ultimatums so I left. Who does W think she is? She does not control me. I can't stand being around her anymore. This will be a welcome change.

I think I'll go on a little trip to see my sister. Turns out the OW is going on vacation and will be near where I am going. I am going to stop to see her. We're just friends, so it's not a big deal.

I met OW. I slept with her. I didn't mean to. It wasn't what I planned, it just happened. As long as I don't tell my W it will be okay. She asked me if I saw OW. I found out my W was checking up on me, with the credit card. What a b!tch. I have no privacy. Who does she think she is anyway? Who could ever live with someone like that? At least I don't have to see her everyday anymore.

Sometimes I feel like I still love my W but I also love OW. I'm so confused. W seems to be getting along without me. She's not calling or texting. I wonder why.

W and I are going to try MC. W says I need to break it off with OW but I can't. I told W I am but she can't see the phone bill and since we are still separated so she'll never know. OW knows not to call when I am around my W.

Bad news. W found some old e-mails and knows I met OW. I don't know why she has to snoop. I told her we met but denied sleeping with OW.

Well, it came out in MC. Wife knows I slept with OW. I didn't want to tell her because I knew it was going to kill her. You should have seen it, I feel like a piece of sh!t. W wants to know why the A happened but I don't know. I was a different person then. It wasn't me... I have completely broken it off with OW...I can't do this to my W anymore.