How should I proceed now? Is there hope?

[Dagny-2]

NCU,

This is my second time down this road, and you really are describing my H to a T, especially the stone cold looks and the mood type swings (I figure they are OW's problem now). My H was 38 the first time and he definitely had some type of "crisis" as he looked at where he was in his life and where here wanted to go. I followed the DB principles as best as I could, but he eventually moved out. That is when he realized that I wasn't the source of his unhappiness. At some point I told him I loved him unconditionally and that just pissed him off. When he called, if the kids wanted to talk to him fine, if not, I didn't make them. That bothered him. I was pleasant when I saw him, no more, no less. I made plans to go to Germany over Christmas and only talked to him every other day. That is when he started to go to an IC and things picked me up. He met me at the airport afterwards and asked to start working ont the R. And we were happy for 7 years, so this stuff works. We fell into old patterns of work and other stresses, so here I am again. This time is different for me because there is an OW that he is "in love with". But last time, H said all the same things H said to you and after this mess was over, we had the best M of our lives.

For parenting, we have gone through the calendar until November and planned what weekends we have the kids. It helps me to have a plan, but we don't have a plan during the week yet, we have been talking about that each week. Still working on that.

Keep working on you, that needs to be done all the time, because it is so easy to stop taking care of you!