First off, I would like to thank you for your gracious comment about me on another thread. Thank you
I would like to apologize for this post to you. I hope you do not take it the wrong way. Personally, I admire your spunk. Always have. I think you are an amazing woman. You are also a very angry woman.
You have every right to be angry - many of us do. However, IMO you are wearing your anger on your sleeve. You are projecting your anger and I think it is consuming you right now. Do you think your H ca tell? I think he may be able to.
You are giving your H and OW WAY too much control over YOUR emotions. I sooo understand the need to vent. Chit we all need to. However once we vent we must let go. We must detach from our spouse craziness in order to begin our journey towards healing. I think Punkin you are stuck in anger.
May I respectfully suggest that you use the anger to help you do the following:
- determine where you went wrong in the M and begin to work on changing these things. For example, if control was an issue then your recent email stunt was a form of control and manipulation. Do you want your H back at any cost? Do you think manipulating him is giving him enough rope to hang himself? Would you prefer he come back but spend his days thinking about OW? Or would you prefer he come back when he has done the work and finally came to the conclusion that he loves you?
- use the anger to determine what your life will look like. What you want for your life. No one can make someone do something they do not want to do. We can though control what we do for ourselves. Do you know what you will do if he never returns? Maybe you expand energy thinking about this as opposed to OW.
- you need to begin to release the anger you have. It does you no good.
Please punkin think about this and really let him go - he just may return if given the chance to figure his chit out.
God Bless Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Yes, you are right. I am full of anger, and disillusionment. It's been a crapshoot ever since he dragged me back into his drama with the signing the legal waiver thing. The five weeks prior to that, we had no contact at all, and looking back, it was heaven.
Yes, I'm impatient. I got a glimpse last week, and I want more. Now. Even though I know its improbable if not impossible that I'll get it.
I have already looked at my future. I can very well see myself finding a small house just my own and being perfectly happy. I can do that. It's not what I want, but I can. I've done it before. The anger comes in part from having been down this road before 8 years ago, and having learned to trust again, getting it slapped back into my face. Adds a certain new spice to the recipe.
No matter how hard I try, I have bad weekends. I might have made it if this one hadn't been 4 days long.
Anyway, I know you are right. I just have to be hit upside the head occasionally. I have restrained myself from forwarding her hateful emails to him or to my FIL, in which I know she is lying. Taking the high road. Occasionally. PEACE.
My concern is, if I continue to seek Ow's prosecution for the identity theft, won't that be giving them something to bond over? I've tried to battle this out in my head hundred's of times. Right is right and she broke the law, but then again, won't it seem like an attack on the OW?
Punkin, right is right, and wrong is wrong. This OW already thinks she has your H; don't let her think she can get anything more of you, especially your identity. They may bond over this, but if your H is the man you married, he will eventually realise who this OW really is. If not, then would you want him back? Really, would you want a man back where you had to allow a crime to take place just to appease him in some way? What would that do to your self esteem? You would probably have a harder time forgiving, IMHO. Of course, I don't know you, but from what I can tell, you are a stand up person, honest and honorable.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Thanks guys for the input. Here I am, ready to take on the world for another work week. UGH! Dark and Rainy. Maybe it'll keep the patients away. Point taken BeingMe on the Prosecution. I'll try to get a chance to call them today, and set up an appointment to talk to the Deputy PA myself.
Everybody wish me luck.
Have a great work week everyone.
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
Home again, home again. Well, I received the final slap in the face today. H sent me our water bill with a note, "I'm not paying it no more." He is officially and totally not paying any of the bills and not paying me a dime. He is still paying the house payment, but the month's not over yet.
I'm trying to stay positive, but he seems to have put me totally in his past. No looking back. On top of that, I've got OW sending me nastygrams. The latest being,"You are a liar"
Not feeling angry, not feeling spunky. Just feeling hopeless.
