Puppy, you keep writing "she" on this thread but "she" is actually a "he" (other woman's husband). LOL.
4my, Puppy gave you excellent advice. Her husband DOES deserve to know the truth just as you do. When your H comes at you about this (and he will) you say exactly what PDT's suggest says. YOu don't need to cover for him to carry on frolicking with OW.
Went to a dear friend's recommittment service today. Wife had an EA earlier this year and they worked through it. H was there. It was so heartbreaking to sit there and hear those words - faithful, for better or worse... I couldn't stay long. No words between H and me. No eye contact, either. Everyone there knows we're separated, but only 2 know why (his A). I wanted to scream it out loud - that he betrayed me. Those words meant nothing to him. I've been getting so strong, realizing that he is no good for me. Realizing I wasn't fully happy for a long time before A. Realizing he is (and has been) teaching our boys that things, and now people, are disposable. It still just so hard to see him. I miss my friend. I miss my husband. I know what I must do, but it's still so hard to accept that it's come to this. I am sad.
No - I've heard nothing. I would be very surprised if H said anything to his friends or family about being called out. I guess it's also possible that OW's H is doing nothing with the information.
H is digging himself into a hole. I'm documenting all contact with the kids. If I were to file today, I would be granted sole custody since he has no permanent address. I'm also going to look into random drug testing based on info he's told me about some of his co-workers and that's who he primarily hangs out with now. What a mess...
If he ended the affair (or already had), would you want him back, or would you want to consider wanting him back?
I'm not sure what you should do, but answering that question might help you decide how to respond when you meet.
As far as the drug testing...maybe worry about that IF he comes back. If not, until you are at a child custody discussion, it is probably a mute point.
BTW, if he's been seeing his boys a few times a week, he must love them. If you accidentally threaten that relationship with talk of sole custody and drug testing, I'd guess that he'd start putting up some serious walls. Do you want to have your sons lose their father? Keep this an issue about you and him, not your family and him.
Have you read "Mars on Ice, Venus on Fire?"...it is interesting and might relate a bit.
