Yes, you are right. I am full of anger, and disillusionment. It's been a crapshoot ever since he dragged me back into his drama with the signing the legal waiver thing. The five weeks prior to that, we had no contact at all, and looking back, it was heaven.
Yes, I'm impatient. I got a glimpse last week, and I want more. Now. Even though I know its improbable if not impossible that I'll get it.
I have already looked at my future. I can very well see myself finding a small house just my own and being perfectly happy. I can do that. It's not what I want, but I can. I've done it before. The anger comes in part from having been down this road before 8 years ago, and having learned to trust again, getting it slapped back into my face. Adds a certain new spice to the recipe.
No matter how hard I try, I have bad weekends. I might have made it if this one hadn't been 4 days long.
Anyway, I know you are right. I just have to be hit upside the head occasionally. I have restrained myself from forwarding her hateful emails to him or to my FIL, in which I know she is lying. Taking the high road. Occasionally. PEACE.
