Punkin, I want you to know that I for one do not just give platitudes to people on here. I have lived it all.
I know the fear of losing your home. I am losing mine. I do not have a fulltime job and h has been unemployed for over a year. I owe have of his $70,000 debt and have no health insurance and have a neuromuscular disease, sleep apnea, clinical depression. My son has the same disease. I honestly will not have a place to live.
Having said all that, I still believe in the principals of db. I have always felt that this has more to do with living the best life you can and sometimes it saves a marriage.
The principals I believe in are that you need to detach. This is for you. In order for you to get through this, it is essential. I also believe that you have to fake it til you make it. Because if you choose each day to live it for you, to fill your days with things you love, eventually, it becomes reality.
Because the truth of the matter is, there is nothing you can do to change whats happening. But there are some things you can do that can affect the outcome. I believe without a doubt that pulling them towards you pushes them away. They are trying to figure it all out, you pull they pull, too. And then where are you.
As far as the ow, I do not give her any of my headspace. She is not worth a second of my valuable time. She is not worthy of entering my thoughts.
And I try to live each day according to what I feel is the right thing. I dont do anything with the idea that it might or might not bring h back. I just live according to way I think God would want me to.
Db and the kind people on this forum initially helped me get through the shock of this. And then little by little, its helped me become the person I want to be.
Do I wish my h came through this and toward me? Absolutely. And no one knows what the future holds. But, would I have given up this chance in exchange for this never having had happened? Absolutely not.
So, Punkin, you have such strength and grace. You will be alright no matter what.
In the meantime, seize this opportunity for growth and understanding.
Put your old marriage safely in a box and store it away. Let h and ow blow in the wind right now.
