Everything you say makes sense. The thing that stings is that I realized from the get go how not having my H around would be. I knew what he brought to the table. Evidently, the things I brought to the table were not as important as I thought. If he misses me, he hides it well. If he misses anything about our life together, i.e., kids, grands, fishing, etc., he hides it very well.
Sorry to sound like such a downer, but Seeking has a way of putting things that make it easier for me to form my thoughts into words.
Punkin, Thought I'd bring this back to your thread to give my thoughts to.
Sweetie, your H doesn't hide things very well at all. The message you received from him said it all. Ow on the other hand is very manipulative and hanging on for dear life.
She's not done with him yet. She still feels there is something to be gained.
His reaching out to you, especially intoxicated and inhibitions low gave you a clear sign that what he buries deep while sober is still there at his core. He misses you and his life with you.
When I said if my H had said something like that to me it would keep me going for a long time what I meant is that you know that your H still wants you. I was so happy that you heard that from him, even though it was a hit and run. I wish I could hear something like that from mine. Even if it came as a result of your H and ow having a fight, it was you that he turned to.
This process takes such a long time Punkin, and there are no guarantees. I know how hard it is to step back and be patient. I'll tell you though that if you can do that and love your H from a distance, cracks will keep appearing. This affair has to die it's own death.
You can not make it go any faster, but you can slow it up. Don't give them anything to bond over.
This is your time Punkin. Those things you brought to the table were important. They will become even more apparent in time to your H as the ow can not compare to you.
One thing I'm absolutely certain of is that no matter how your sitch turns out, you're going to be better than OK. Your spirit and love of life shines through!
