My New LBS Reality

[irishblessings]

Thanks B! Your encouragement means a lot.

So this morning wake up - come upstairs - 16 year old son had friends spend the night - house DISASTER!! Food left out of refrigerator all night - dog remnants everywhere -

So I start making french toast - S comes in and I say "food is ruined from last night - you'll have to throw it away. Dog s**t everywhere - I can't live like this" S gets mouthy / cops attitude. I tell him to get out of the house. Don't know where this came from - I just had it. I'm mopping up dog pee / cooking breakfast / I have supplemented is bank account by about $350 since Thursday and he gets mouthy with me. So he starts banging around the house - "she kicked me out" / gets his keys and I say "you are not taking the car". He throws the keys. We are talking a complete trashy horror story. I break down sobbing - he starts crying. When did we become like this - this isn't us!!! Ds are watching the whole scene knowing this is not how they grew up. I feel sick! I get so overwhelmed missing H and missing our working together raising the kids. It was easier - now I feel flattened by the whole scene. We end up hugging and making up - but are we "better" for having gone through this versus not? I don't think so - I think we end up a little more jaded/sadder by the whole thing. I don't mean to sound "pollyannaish" - but I don't want to waste energy on small things like a dirty house and such.

So...I'm going for a mani/pedi and pool time! Will report back later how the day ends up!