I just got home and was surprised. There were no pictures of my wife anywhere but pictures of me and the kids. There was furniture in the study that my wife moved into the family room. I had requested that she not do this before I left. She arranged the furniture as she saw fit. Her clothes and computer are still here. I have not spoken with her for 2 days. I am numb and in shock. This day is the worst day of my life. The death of my father was nothing compared to the way I feel. Will hang out with friends tomorrow and pray for brighter days ahead. Bobby O
Today is a day that you will need to feel this. That's right. You need to feel this pain. You need to feel this hurt.
Today is the day that Bobby is going to have to make a very hard decision.
Do you remember when you said at the alter...for better or for worse? This Bobby is the for worse part.
Your wife is running from her pain right now. You wife needs someone to be a steady light for her.
Is Bobby that person? Can Bobby be the strong one right now?
Can Bobby check his ego at the door?
Can Bobby deal with this pain?
Can Bobby face it and go through it?
Can Bobby be the father that his kids need right now?
Can Bobby hold the fort down while his wife is off her rocker?
Can Bobby put aside his pain and have compassion towards his wife?
Can Bobby look at Bobby and own his role in the break up?
Can Bobby begin the hard work of changing...rather killing the issues that he knows he has?
Can Bobby love her EVEN when she does not love him back?
Bobby - this is hard. Nothing I or anyone on these boards will take the pain away.
You are in shock...accept it! Deal with it! Man up and face it!
Because Bobby....
This is really about YOU!
You do not see it now...and really I am not going to sugar coat it...you may not see it...BUT
If you open yourself...if you allow the natural changes that are life to take hold...if you let go and give up control...if you do the work on YOU...well then Bobby.....
YOU WILL REALIZE THAT YOU (yes I said YOU) decide when this is over. YOU decide when the M is over!
I will pray for you tonight...
I will stand with you Bobby....you can do this chit!
Go through the shock....go through the pain....and emerge...emerge as the new Bobby!
THe Bobby that your W may come running back to.
She can see through any of the bul*[censored] Bobby. She can see through any of the tactics that you may try to use to get her back. She can see you Bobby....So let me ask YOU a question....
What does Bobby see when HE looks in the mirror?
Hang out with your friends Bobby - you have a lot of work in front of you. I know you can do it.
For better or for worse....
In sickness and in health.....
What does this ^^^^ mean to you Bobby.
No more talking....no more begging...no more bull...time to man up and SHOW her - SHOW HER what TRUE LOVE IS. SHOW HER WHAT STRENGTH IS....SHOW HER Bobby...
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Hey Eric, I appreciate your input. I received a call from my daughter last night and she asked me to take her to church. She said that she and my wife and other dughter needed to get more stuff from the house. I told her I would take her to church and lunch and then would drop her off at the house. I will get together with friends later. Well I am sure we will be in touch. Bobby o
For someone who seemed so lost just a short time ago, you seem to have put the basics of DB'ing in to effect in record time. You sound like you are doing an excellent job of it. Keep it up.
I had a great time with my daughter. We went to church and then lunch. We talked about her starting school and her boyfriend. She said she missed staying in the house and I told her she could stay anytime. I did not ask questions about my wife. I went to see friend tonight. I just got home and there was a note from my wife informing me she had left a check to cover her expences for the move. She said in the note that she would sort through things in the upstairs when she has time.I have not spoken to my wife at all in 3 days. The journey continues. Bobby O
Oh so easy to say! Bobby! Have been reading along...
I have been so proud of myself for handling things so well! You will do fine....just realize that there will be "chinks" in your armour, I have not spoken with my H since July 29th...I am having a hard time with this so forgive me since this is the first time I have posted to you!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I have to work today. I received phone calls from my wife's sister and father last night. The are upset with situation and hope Virginia will come around. I do feel the loss of my wife and family. There is a definite chink in the armour. I am just trying to connect with friends and family. I have been thinking of the 29 years I have known my wife. I suspect she is hurting too but in a different way. I do know that I am more in love with her now than before and I hope she feels the same crazy feeling that there is a loss with the interaction. The Last resort technique is in place and this is day 4 with no contact. Well need to get ready for work. Bobby O
You're doing the right thing connecting with friends and family and staying busy.
Giving your W space will also give her a chance to see what life is like not having you to rely on. Both of you will become aware of what the other brought to the table in your life together.
A new respect for each other may come out of this. Things that each of you may have taken for granted will become apparent.
As hard as it is this time and space can be a gift.
Everything you say makes sense. The thing that stings is that I realized from the get go how not having my H around would be. I knew what he brought to the table. Evidently, the things I brought to the table were not as important as I thought. If he misses me, he hides it well. If he misses anything about our life together, i.e., kids, grands, fishing, etc., he hides it very well.
Sorry to sound like such a downer, but Seeking has a way of putting things that make it easier for me to form my thoughts into words.
