I mainly use this for journaling and insight from othes. But I try and offer some advice as to how I see things. When kids are involved its a whole different thing. I think when Kids are involved itcan work to help the cause. The freedom of a WA is not as open as without kids. THey have responsibilites other than themselves. That is why I did not fight her taking the kids. Not because I do not leve them, she is a good mother and I know they are safe, But she really needs to see how it is with her being by herself with the kids, I have done it, not easy.
As far as your sitch, there are advantages there as well. You do not have anything that keeps you seeing each other. Which means you can go completely dark, mysterious and no contact. The info you have discovered lately, as much as it hurts, gives you more of a reason to have no further contact with her, lets se how she handles that.
Dsh,
I'm so THANKFUL I don't have kids that would have to go thru this crap. Society is disposable nowadays and the hardship it creates for children is truly sad.
We do have dogs which are nothing compared to children, but they do hold value. Unfortunately, my W will read her email on the no more contact, which includes she could "wig" out about it. I asked not to hear from her again, nor will she hear from me..asked that she doesn't come see dogs, but I will let her know if something happens health wise (out of respect). Told her that she and her new love can get their own dogs and she can let go of her "old past" and focus on herself. NO MORE contact.
Reality though, the dogs are her window for seeing the "old" life and I believe she will use it again to get "inside". So going dark and mysterious has yet to be seen, until she says something by Tuesday I'm not home free yet. If she brings it up I will be here to sort the thoughts before I make decision. That I guarantee! However, I do believe she lost the right to see them by Leaving Home, cheating, and constantly lying so if she gives me too much static I will put my foot down to turn her away.
She's still chewing on LIE BUSTING, so I have no idea what to expect...except for your point earlier. Makes me a little nervous.
