They say someone who has OW is in a fog, but I am the one coming out of a fog. I can't believe it took me so long to come out of denial because of my "love" for my H and my desire for my son to have an intact family.
I now see: That the past year, not only was H lying to me that we may reconsile by going to MC, he was abusing me and S emotionally and verbally while he went back to his OG (Other GIRL - I'm sure she's no woman - the girl H dated before me was 17 - and he was 28!). I mean it just all hit me. I could see it all clearly like a movie in my mind. He has been lying, cheating, and abusing me. For over a year. Before she came into the picture, we had been living apart, but it was agreed it was temporary, that we would start MC on month four and work on our M. Then it turned on a dime and now I can see it all.
I am disgusted and furious.
I was cleaning my kitchen, going over this in my mind, and imagining telling H to tell his girl that the little boy she met so "casually" the other night is in a broken home because of her - because of her encouragement to keep a married man from facing his problems and working on his family.
Then H calls. He's away on some stupid gaming conference(why not - life is all fun and games these days for him, right?) and I'm home alone with S for four nights. Which, by the way is a most welcome respite - no anxiety attacks!!!!
He wants to talk to S and of course I have to let him. But I was in such a state as to be cold as ice. For all I know she's standing right there with him.
I know Allen recommends saying these types of things directly to OP but I in no way can stomach meeting her or talking to her. Should I send him such a note? Or just go NC and go through lawyers?
