IB, I am glad that you find comfort in your faith. I couldnt imagine my life without it.
I'm sorry that it is bittersweet for you when you go to church. I wish that you can skip this part. But every single step is necessary in order for you to get to a place of peace.
Just keep moving forward. When you are feeling sad, try to let is wash over you, feel it and then let it go.
I know it is hard for you to imagine that one day you will not feel so bad. But I promise, it will happen.
