I feel your pain. Most of us do to be sure. If our spouses were sane, everything you say would make sense. But they're not sane right now. I look at it like when I watch the show "Hoarders". The people on that show have a major psychological issue. They often even KNOW it but are unable to do anything about it. They are unable to get rid of stuff without major psychological pain. Their brain wiring is screwy and expecting them to just get rid of stuff on their own is like wishing for balmy weather in Antarctica. Our spouses are not thinking straight. The reason your H believed you about the D date was because he IS an idiot right now. They DON'T think straight. My intelligent H has been telling me the same stories over and over again because apparently he can't remember anything he tells me. He's not thinking right. As a result, they are attracted to broken people.
You're right, we don't deserve this. But to call the S self-centered is to assume they are thinking clearly about what they are doing. Hopefully you know deep down, that they are not. ((Punkin))
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
