Still: Eric is right. Drop the rope. Easier said than done, but I feel you will be better off if you do. This can be your time to grown into a richer, fuller life than you ever imagined. I'm not getting any sense that you are on that road. Of course, you don't have to air your personal growth insights with us if you don't want to, but are you gaining any insights into who you are? Are you gaining any insights into the forces that have shaped your life, your relationship with your wife?
There's no magic time frame for that journey. I'm not saying you should have answers now. They come in different ways for different people. But if you don't find them, you will not learn what you need to learn from this crisis. One of the most powerful messages I ever read on these boards was in effect to ask us LBS to figure out the reason we got to where we are. If we think it's all about our spouses, we are grossly mistaken. We have lessons to learn. Your W may never learn hers, or she may learn them too late to save your marriage. But the one person you can save is you. Take care.
