i think i have figured out who the OM is. it is the guy from FB who lives in Florida but grew up in NY and went to the same elementary school as her. there are a whole bunch of friends from the same school she is friends with. it all makes sense...
i have been locked out of FB for months. he lives in FL. we visit FL and i return home to work while she stays w/ my mom in Weston near Fort Lauderdale. on her return home, i find out she has been looking at homes up in areas where this guy lives (i think they actually met up once while she was down there) as well as jobs (jacksonville). i confronted her bc she has been sooooo hot to trot to move. could this thing been going on for that long? can EA's go on that long? prob one or two physical encounters, no?
it would explain the mysterious texts in Florida as well some unaccounted time when she was down there w/ my mom watching my kids (several hours looking at "real estate," more like him checking hers out, the MF).
that was in June. 40th bday in July. nice small bash. she had a good time. i bet. about 1 month after bday, increasing emotional detachment, no more ML, no more sig physical contact, distancing, erasing histories (i am not entirely sure how long that could have been going on although i have been careful to check, yet suspect i missed on that one) on computer which i asked her about w/ her playing coy...
finally find some entries via a logger. when i first read it, she commented on some picture where "you do not look like a girl." i started looking at photos of guy and saw recent caption where his mother said he "looked like a girl." bingo!!!
so this MF, literally, is the one. and the best? he has 4 kids!! they talk as if they are planning their getaway together. after reading thru all of the other entries, i can either take the gucci approach (which has been difficult bc when i have asked her about the possible EA w/ me even dropping this guys name she stonewalls and absolutely denies it, STRONGLY) or the puppy/allen approach. as much as i want to take the long term gentle approach her recent hints on wanting a D possibly although she started MC just yest "bc i have been waiting many years and this is it." saw a lawyer which i now believe. holy S!
i am feeling so torn. i am emotional. i cry when i think of my kids, where i have come. i am enjoying every moment we have as a family, like today hanging out w/ another family we are close to at this pool club.
i have seen advice to not worry about any OM, especially from MWD and other sites, bc need to worry only about me. make myself better and show her the light, but does that work. only if i detach and leave home which i will not do bc i think it is harder to come back once you do and besides i pay the mortgage so she will be the one who has to go.
i am still gathering data. but i think what little i have might be enough. i can lay it out for the OMW and his family. let's see how this F likes that. cannot believe that these people think they are going to be able to make a life together w/ 5 kids of ours and 4 kids of OM and OMW!! can it be so? does this sort of BS happen? successfully?
