I think one of the hardest things to accept about all this is the length of time it takes for our S's to complete their journey. Add to that that there are no guarantees that your M will be restored and it can all get overwhelming to think about.
It's all in your perception, you can take this time and view it as a curse or a gift. It can be used however you see fit.
One of the uses might be looking at your M and owning your part in it's downfall. You can change those aspects if you so desire.
You can use it to do some of those things that you didn't have the chance to because you were busy doing for H and/or kids. Now you have the time to explore those interests. Those things also make you more interesting.
All of the things we do with this time are prepping us for one of two eventualities. It will make us stronger in the event that our S doesn't come home. It will give us the confidence we need to move on knowing that we will be just fine.
It will also make us stronger in the event that our S decides to come home and we decide to let them. This is where we'll really need the strength. Our S will return even more broken than when they left. Our strength, courage and patience will really be tested then as we'll sometimes have to have enough for both of us.
This time is a gift from God. It is in His time that this will resolve itself. He knows how long this is going to take until He feels we're ready to handle the answer whatever that may be.
It's all up to you in how you want view this gift and what you'll do with it.
