Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
I walked right up to the couch, waited for him to look me in the eye, shook my head, handed him his phone and said "UNBELIEVABLE" Then I went to DD's bedroom with her.
That's it. Now how long is that PIG going to lay on my couch? Regardless, I'm getting DD dressed and we are going outside to play or getting out of here or something
gosh this sounds like me! I am empathizing girl the same thing happened to me my PIG passed out on the couch and I saw his blackberry with BS texts too.
love your attitude!
Luv
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
Now that is some $hit to see isn't it, Luv? And PIG is the perfect way to describe them.
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
Well I gotta say - whenever I get into a clingy state of desperation to hang onto my marriage, I now know what I'm going to do. I'm going to pull out my notes of the IMs from H to OW. When I read those messages, it makes me sick to my stomach. I realize that my H is a selfish, deceitful, cheating, disrespectful, LIAR and at this point he's not good enough for me.
The morning after our 9th anniversary, which he didn't even acknowledge, he was sending OW all kinds of IMs - and I'll just call them "inappropriate." What a ba$tard. Who lives a double life like that? To me, It’s incredibly incomprehensible.
Unless he makes some MAJOR life changes, he will never be good enough for me. Damn it all...I'm far from perfect, but I'm a pretty good catch if I do say so myself. ; ) I'm in shape, I'm focused on being healthy, I have a degree and a job that is very respected in our community, I have lots of friends, I'm enthusiastic and thoughtful, I have a great relationship with my family, I'm a great mom, I'm good with kids, I'm growing in my faith...the list goes on and on. lol...just kidding! But seriously, I need to remind myself that I AM WORTHY OF A GOOD MAN. I am much too good for a lying, cheating, ba$tard. Unless he gets his life together, he can just keep dreaming if he thinks things will ever work out with us. And he better figure out a different way to speak to me. Sorry, but saying something like, "If u don't let me move back in, then screw it" isn't good enough for me.
I'm about a click away from signing up for match.com, looking for a decent man and moving on (not that I need a man to be happy - hell, who knows if I'll ever be able to trust again). But, it's been over 2 years since I've had a connection with a man and I'm so tired of putting my happiness on hold. I never thought I would even consider doing something like that, but really, I don't care anymore. I've been treated like trash long enough.
It was so painful to see what I saw on his phone, but it really was a blessing. Now I know the truth and I can make an informed decision about what I want to do. I was in such a hurry before and now I want to slow down and think about everything. I want to focus on the things I mentioned before - church, prayer, DD's preschool, volunteering, exercise and I might again consider going back to school. I know I'm going to continue to have very sad days, but screw being a doormat. I'm so glad I have those notes to turn to...they will give me strength, bc I know I deserve a man who would treat me right.
It just feels good to stand up for myself. My biggest challenge is going to be staying in control of my emotions, but I can do it. I can do it.
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
Interesting...I'm on my third day of no/limited contact. It's a slow start, but I set a goal of doing this at least until my next counseling appt on 9/14.
Well today he starts texting about finances. I don't want to just ignore him bc I've done that in the past and it hasn't helped or worked. So, here's our texts. Just wondering if I'm on the right path here...
H: I know u buy groceries and stuff for DD but u have never been involved with any of the bills or offered to help. Don't worry I won't ever ask for your help again (that was based on a text about when he’s going to pay back my $300.00)
Me: That is another boldface lie. In the past, I offered many, many times to help with bills. As for the mess you are currently in, I'm not helping. You got yourself into this mess; you need to get yourself out. That's what consequences are. When you were committed to me, I was willing.
H: Well this is never gonna work.
M: No response
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
This is a great example of what a moron my H is and how he can deny, deny, deny like nobody's business. He just texted me this:
"My debt hardly has anything to do with her."
LMAO...OKAY!!!!!! He's still paying all of our bills here at our house bc he feels guilty and you know the ba$tard is helping with bills at her house. And what about all of those hotel stays, dinners, drinks, he's been to Vegas with her, he gambles at the casino, plays online poker and bets on sports and she joins him, etc... He's such a PIG! I've never seen somebody who can deny this much. It's starting to get funny.
Any suggestion on how I should reply? Maybe what I typed above, "LMAO...OKAY!"
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
reply to what? he didnt ask you a question so theres no reason t reply. silence is powerful.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
True, he didn't ask a question, I guess I just wanted him to know that I was NOT buying that. He knows the reason he's broke and struggling to pay bills is bc the double life he lived.
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
Grrrrrr...tonight DD was helping me sweep out the garage when H decided to come outside and sit like a blob. DD asked if he would go for a walk and he said no. He was just sitting there staring at his phone, not engaging DD. So I said, "I sure hope that you are not IMing OW because that would be really disrespectful."
He YELLS back, "I'm on the damn internet. Then mumbles, shut the F up. I can't stand you." I almost lost it. Any advice on how to handle it? I really don't want to just ignore, but he's not going to continue to speak to me that way. After what he's done, he's speaking to ME like that?
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
