WAW Wants to Be Alone

[FaithnAK]

He can have her. Seriously. Divorce, no prob. Moving on? Well soon as I shake the dust off in the next few days.

However, now that her LIES have been busted, I'm curious as how you all think she might react. It's not really the OM that bothers me as much as the damn lies.

Should I change the locks and garage door opener? So she has to make an appointment? She's gonna play the "Can I come see the dogs" card...Do I say no?

[FaithnAK]

I'm sorry you had to go through that Faith...especially after tentatively putting out there your friendship and offer to run the dogs with her.

I'm trying to rehearse the proper 'letting go' speech that my head is telling me for when my H comes home. My gut is yelling a whole different speech because I'm pretty sure he's moved on to other women. My heart is creeping in with a please let me fix it speech. If only we could all just do what our heads and the heads here tell us is best for us it would be so much easier, because it's all about keeping our dignity and focusing on ourselves.

I'm sorry you got punched in the gut and the heart. Listen to the head/s. They are trying to keep you safe and strong.

Thanks Oxy,

I'll be okay, I promise! It's too fresh and typing these questions out right now is therapy.

Forgot about that dog running thing. That was her idea, but after yesterday...there will be NO friendship. The lies destroyed that possibility. I truly don't want to be friends with somebody like she is now. Just enough contact to get out from under the house, is enough for me.

[FaithnAK]

He can have her. Seriously. Divorce, no prob. Moving on? Well soon as I shake the dust off in the next few days.

However, now that her LIES have been busted, I'm curious as how you all think she might react. It's not really the OM that bothers me as much as the damn lies.

Should I change the locks and garage door opener? So she has to make an appointment? She's gonna play the "Can I come see the dogs" card...Do I say no?

I'm pretty sure he was in the house once and if it wasn't him then it was someone else...because the spare bathroom toilet lid was up and I don't use that bathroom. I could "smell" guy when I walked in my house one night after my meeting. I know when something isn't right and I think that Boundary was crossed. I did say something to her about it and she said "I would never bring anyone else in our house". Well...you can see how far her word goes

My gut tells me to change the locks...is that a smart move?

[dsh4320]

I would, are you getting the house through the D? Put your boundaries in place and fill them with concrete, changing locks is a good start. And go Dark as black right now.

[FaithnAK]

I would, are you getting the house through the D? Put your boundaries in place and fill them with concrete, changing locks is a good start. And go Dark as black right now.

No we kept it joint to sell, but I'm finding a Lawyer next week so that might change.

[CD Bear]

TALK TO THE LAWYER TUESDAY.

Those are good questions best answered by legal.

[FaithnAK]

I would, are you getting the house through the D? Put your boundaries in place and fill them with concrete, changing locks is a good start. And go Dark as black right now.

Last contact she's getting from me was Saturday. Sent the text I wrote a few posts back and sent her an email (which I forgot to say on here)...that I do not wish for her to contact me anymore. She probably won't get that til Tuesday(don't know how often she checks her email on weekend)

[FaithnAK]

TALK TO THE LAWYER TUESDAY.

Those are good questions best answered by legal.

Ok, that's what I figured.

[dsh4320]

I agree CD, but depending on the state they are in, I have been a cop in TX for 10 years. If it were here, when someone moves out, doesnt matter if they are on the deed or on a lease, if they move and their mail goes to a new address, it does not mean they still have access to a home. MY last Separation from the W, I packed her stuff, changed the locks and told her not to come back. Her L told her it was in her best interest to stay away from the house.

Faith would not be, IMO violating any law by changing locks on a home he lives in and owns or co-owns. At the same time, if she were to come and remove the changed locks or damage the property, she also would not be liable for any criminal charges. I dont see her doing this, this is where the civil and criminal aspects of the law get very gray. I dont really know if this blabbering post helped you or not Faith, just giving my opinion.

[john28]

[quote=FaithnAK]H I know when something isn't right and I think that Boundary was crossed. I did say something to her about it and she said "I would never bring anyone else in our house". Well...you can see how far her word goes

When my W was having an EA with OM, I asked her if she ever had introduced our S4 to him. She said no, she would never do that because it was just wrong. I found pictures on her computer with S4 and OM together at a playplace. I asked her again. She said, no way in hell would she do that. I tried to let it go. Asked her one more time (this all over the course of 3 weeks or so) and she said she would never ever hurt me like that.

I showed her the pics. She admitted.

People who cheat will say and do anything to protect their fantasy, or protect "hurting you" with the truth.

You W and my W are no exceptions.