Yesterday when my H was at the house with Ds - I left right away, told him I was going hiking. He was shocked that I was not staying - he asked if I was going with someone. I pretended like I didn't hear him and left. Today he sent me a text asking if I had a date when I went hiking! I haven't text him back yet. How should I handle this? I will not play games, but if I don't ask him questions about his OW then should I tell him it isn't his business? or is it best just to say no one after I have let him wait for my response?
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
Welcome to the world of MLC. You are exactly right. The rules aren't fair and you just have to deal with it. You are not allowed to ask questions but the reverse is allowed. Craziness.
The exact thing you say is up to you, but you should be honest just as you would want honesty from him. And saying "it's none of your business", while true, is just not going to work for the MLC fogged up head. A simple no is fine.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
"I'm not the bad guy". If I've heard it once I've heard it a million times. No one is placing blame except him, and he keeps saying "I'm not the bad guy." Makes me want to hit him.
No matter how you answer, wait 24 to 48 hours before you do.
Some MLCers want the spouse to be seeing someone as it relieves their guilt about the affair.
You know your H the best. If you think he's asking you out of jealousy if you're seeing someone I would use this opportunity to set a boundary. I would tell my H that I do not ask about your personal life, please do not ask about mine. I would state it kindly, but firmly.
Punkin....it is the alien doing the crazymaking talk. I know you are biting your tongue countless times and probably dripping some blood onto your chin. It is not you. I cannot emphasize this enough.
Well I did reply "no date" he text me back "just playin" I replied "were u?" he said "just wondering, you blew me off yesterday when I asked" I text "yeah, I guess I did" He replies "SO??" I said "so nothing...I liked feeling that for 1 tiny minute you cared" his reply..."didn't mean to start something"
Then I went outside and our neighbors told me that they saw my H and the OW at a bar last night.
ARGGGG! SCREAM! THROW SOMETHING! I sometimes wonder about my own sanity. We sit here and say they are crazy - but what about us for putting up with this crap!
Sorry - it is still very very new to me that they are seen in public together. Just when I think I am on the right track I get derailed. As my T tells me...find your center.
Sorry to vent everyone - I can't vent to my friends and family they just get sooooo mad and tell me I deserve so much better.
I can't vent to him or I ruin any progress I have made.
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
