That is why I am telling you to get a planned schedule for your H's visitations. Don't allow your H to come around anytime he feels like it. It is not fair to you or your children. That way you have free time to GAL and become more mysterious to him.
Your sitch and mine are at polar opposites, whereas you have too much contact with your H and I am trying to establish contact with my W.
I had the A! So if I did why couldn't my W? Paranoia set in, I began questioning my W for no reason if she was having an A and questioned her about all of her male collegues (mental abuse)...I was haunted by the fear that my W would have an A because I opened up Pandora's box.
I had the A! So if I did why couldn't my W? Paranoia set in, I began questioning my W for no reason if she was having an A and questioned her about all of her male collegues (mental abuse)...I was haunted by the fear that my W would have an A because I opened up Pandora's box.
I've been trying to get my H to feel this. I'm not sure he had a PA or not and I never will be because of all the lies. But what I have wanted from him is to be sure he understood.
Now in regards to your sitch, I can say that just because you did DOESN'T mean she will. The paranoia will feed off of itself, first you think she will have one because you did, then it will be because you said she might, then it will be because you questioned her. You can drive yourself crazy and her. I never thought about it, and I honestly have kept myself so far from that possibility just because I know the damage done. So maybe, just maybe your wife won't do a tit for tat.
Try not to read into anything. Deal in facts as much as possible
"I feel like Rocky in the fifteenth round, beaten beyond recognition, when I realize, the only person I've been fighting for is...myself."
That is exactly what I did to her and to us for atleast the last year and a half. I know that there was not OM because of my spying and also from Jan to May of this year she focused on finishing her nursing school and from May to June on passing the NCLEX for her RN and I helped with her studies as well as edit her papers, my way of showing her love.
Now since she is on a dating site and has been dormant the last 3 days there may very well be OM. However, she is a new RN and it is a holiday weekend so she may be working cover shifts. I got really upset this morning when I discovered this, but I am speculating and besides I cannot control her only me.
So that will be my focus. She will eventually have to contact me one way or they other and I want to put my best foot foward when that happens. I hope by not acknowledging her b-day that it will create some curiosity. I have been focusing on my 180's via email by not showing anger and frustration in regard to her NC.
In regard to your H I wish that some of us WAS on this site could talk with him. He is in his own fog and appears to want to wish it away or put in token effort. I know I saw the trainwreck coming (my W looking for an apt.) it should have been my wake-up call to change what I was doing and stop the wreck from happening. It took my W walking out the door to wake me up.
If you mean Fb, yes and it is fully transparent and hope a means to get my W attention.
If you mean the dating site...well the day my W said that she was leaving me I went to the site and began to register in the hopes of getting her jealous...I know I know immature, but my defense mechanisim was activated. I never finished my profile, but had access to people on the site. I started checking to see if my W was on it and two weeks later she was. Her profile was intersting because it was like she was not trying to draw too many flies (modest so so profile, a picture of her climbing a fake wall where you can hardly see her, and a tree...???).
I use to monitor to see if it was active (speculation) and if she was on. I stopped about 5 or 6 days ago, but today my curiosity got the best of me and noticed that she has not been on for 3 days, but it could be that she had to work the holiday being a new RN and the first hoilday she has been there... I know speculation. I realize I am wasting energy worrying about W and R...I need to work on my GAL.
Since you have successfully detached what is your GAL activities? I know this not a detaching statement, but I will say it anyway. I wonder what my W will think when her b-day will treated like any other day by me? Maybe it will not phase her if she is totally detached.
Since you have successfully detached what is your GAL activities? I know this not a detaching statement, but I will say it anyway. I wonder what my W will think when her b-day will treated like any other day by me? Maybe it will not phase her if she is totally detached.
I am not fully detached. I just come across that way finally. Still long way to go.
As far as your W, did you email her the greetings?
Now go do something fun for YOURSELF. She cannot possibly think that your life stopped whether she is detached or not.
Moping at home is not attractive. Go out, enjoy and brag about it on FB.
If you think she checks your profile then that's the best way to get her attention.
Be cool and attractive. Read my tagline 10 times in a row.
Like Dr. Laura says, now go out there and just do it.
No, I decided that I should not reward her bad behavior by sending the b-day email. Again, it is a gamble but it appears if I am reading the tea leaves that the 2 times that I let her go and stay dark/semi dark then I get the email. The last was an unsolicited request by her. Maybe a little fog will decipate.
I am not sure about Fb. I am transparent so if she is interested then she has access. But I will make a few comments and I did register for acting class.
