Kara, I've just been reading your first postings. How similar! My H is 4 years my junior, but started by going through similar changes.He stated by worrying about wrinkles and hair loss (I always told him he looked great, but I suppose he needed to hear it from someone else...). He started being away a lot, unavailable etc. When he finally told me abou the affair, it and everything were my fault. I was too calm, too reserved, not sexual enough, too needy, I smothered him, I was never at home, I never went anywhere, I was incapable, useless. Lots of contradictory stuff, but also some grains of truth. i tried to take my part of blame, but he wanted me to bear it all.
The advice you got from 25MLC and others would have been lifesaving for me when I first had to deal with things, but sadly, I followed instinct and he left.I can stilluse some of that advice, though. i try my level best to look better than ever and stay quiet and friendly in his presence, don't contact him, etc. I haven't read all 76 pages of your postings yet, so I don't know how things have turned out. But I mean to soon. Thanks. NCU
Me: 46 H:42 Together for 18 yrs, married 14. 3 children: 2 girls 13 and 10, one boy 7. Husband had affair, ended it and then decided on separation. Separated 08/2010
