W came home this morning. Dogs were all happy to be back together.
W looked happy but tired. I smiled and said welcome back. She asked me for help to unload her car. I did.
She wasn't in a mood to talk so I did not ask anything more. It's strange - I really am not interested.
She laid down on a couch and went to sleep. I quietly left.
So here I am enjoying a sunny day and thinking about how should I feel. It's odd how this detachement business has made me numb. I don't feel anything at all. I should be feeling something. If she announces that she agrees to work on R I should feel joy. If not I should feel sadness.
But I don't feel squat. I guess it's a good thing. I can then honestly respect her choice when she is ready to give it to me.
And waiting for that moment causes me zero anxiety. How weirdly cool is that?
"It's a beautiful day The sun is shining I feel good And no-one's gonna stop me now, oh yeah
It's a beautiful day I fell good, I fell right And no-one, no-one's gonna stop me now Mama
Sometimes I fell so sad, so sad, so bad But no-one's gonna stop me now, no-one It's hopeless - so hopeless to even try"
