New here but learning slowly. Advice appreciated

[Albuquerque]

Just journaling,

This week, my H has been making a LOT of contact. So much so that it made me wonder if there might some sort of a change going on with him. But I quickly put that out of my mind since I KNOW this is a rollercoaster ride and this may just be the good side. This may also be the result of the new antidepressant he started a few weeks back (they take a few weeks to really have an effect) It HAS made me question what kind of R he has with OW though since he seems to spend so much time contacting me. Like I've said previously, my suspicions are only that. I was under the impression, based on his weird behavior after an extended vacation, that it was a PA. But now I'm not sure. I'm positive it's AT THE VERY LEAST, a very inappropriate friendship if not an EA. But in the end, I've tried not to think about it too much because it really doesn't matter. I've accepted the reality of it AS a PA so I'm prepared for either one.

His contacts with me are primarily sending my links of news articles, videos, music etc that he finds interesting and wants my take on it. I watch when I can and respond with a short blurb about my thoughts (since he does ask) but I don't go too into depth on my feelings unless he initiates conversations, which at least this week, has been often. One night last week he texted me and asked if I would "sanity check" an email he was sending out to his boss. He's been having communication issues with them and wrote a sharply worded email listing the issues. I felt the email was warranted based on what he's told me, but it definitely needed to be made less harsh. Since the MLC, he has been WAY more harsh than normal in disagreements with others. He burned some major bridges with my sister a few months back. But he seems to at least be aware that he has this issue and I appreciated that he respected my editing abilities.

This was the first week I've seen him since putting my ring back on. Fortunately, if he noticed, he didn't say anything and it hasn't seemed to bother his mood any. I'm glad to have it back on. It feels more like me.

As for him, despite the good mood and interactions we've had this week, I don't think much is different. I'm fairly certain he's still in replay. He's restarted practicing his guitar and has talked about joining a band for fun. My D and I booked tickets to my brothers wedding in October and he hasn't mentioned anything about going. Which is very sad. My H met my brother when my brother was 6. My brother looked up to him as he grew up and they are, in a lot of ways, like brothers. I don't know whether H will decide to go or not, but I'm not asking. I will hope for the best but really won't be surprised if he doesn't attend. I think in actuality, he's probably quite afraid to face my parents. He's always had a good relationship with them and has still spoken with both since the split. I've told my parents nothing and they have no reason to think badly of him. But I still think he would be majorly uncomfortable with them. My sister , on the other hand, like I said earlier, had a MAJOR blow out with him (due to his MLC short fuse) and has sworn him off completely. I think H doesn't want to deal with that and unfortunatley, my brother will probably be slightly hurt by the whole thing.

As for this weekend, I plan to chill out today, get laundry caught up, and catch up on my naps! We may even hit the beach later this evening. Tomorrow, D and I plan to go to a water park. I hope everyone has a great extended weekend!