Not sure where to start or end, WAW - #2

[TimeHeals]

She falls into old habits and patterns

So miscommunication is ALL her fault?

and I'm sucked in to doing the same

Yet you do the same thing? How does she "suck" you into being a bad communicator? Puleez. You have self-control, right? Go back and re-read those books, I guess.

She called me this morning saying the car was making a funny noise

Funny? Like an organ grinder? Or one of those squeeze horns that go "Hooonk Hoonk"?

I saw right through this. I

You... you... you... read her mind? !!! No, no, no.

I asked her plainly, "Are you asking for my help?"

I didn't see anywhere she did that.

She paused. Said, "No, if you're going to be like that then no I'm not asking."

Hmmm... she didn't ask, you beat her to the punch, she got defensive.

Why didn't you just say, "That sounds like a good idea!" (taking car to a mechanic).

I can almost hear the tones of negativity and defensiveness Not your job to rescue her if she doesn't ask. Let her ask for your help.

Yes, I am asking you for help

See... you got there anyway.

So let's recap and see how this might have gone better:

She calls, says car needs to go to mechanic. You agree. She says it will probably cost lots of money. You agree. She asks for your help.

No drama.