When you say "fighting for her and not ...to win", what exactly do you mean? I'm also in the fog about "fog". Do you mean if we get cold enough with our runaway spouses they'll see things more clearly? I'd have thought they could also use our coldness as another excuse to stay away for good and look elsewhere. As in " how could I want to come back to a sour faced, indifferent so-and-so like you? NotCrackingUp
When you fighting your fight you focus on the progress not on the outcome. You cannot predict that you'll ever win your WAS back, but you can fight for that possibility. These are baby steps.
If you don't pursue and become more mysterious and interesting they can see that as attractiveness and the fog will start clearing. Good memories return and they may start having second thoughts.
That will never happen if you are constantly in pursuit.
None of it is my wisdom, but I can tell you that I have seen results in my own sitch. So I focus on the little results, checking the temperature and keep doing what works.
I am sitting here waiting for W to come home from her vacation alone. Who knows what happens. I may have to start looking for a new home for myself next week. I gave her two options to choose from. It's her choice and based on that my battle plans may have to be adjusted soon.
