I don't even know how to set boundeies without him being interested in our marriage.
IHH, this is precisely when one needs to set boundaries the MOST.
"Husband, I know what you are doing, and it's incredibly disrespectful to me and to our marriage. I will NOT live in an open marriage, and I will not allow you to use our marital home as a hotel for you, to come and go as you please. Either recommit to this marriage, or move out and stay out, and I will take steps to protect myself, including a divorce."
Until you take a stand, IHH, he's going to continue to whipsaw you like he did this weekend.
