You could try to detach 'as if' you are moving on (without leaving your marraige), do the GAL stuff, and so on. You could work on you, and if you do it successfully, he might notice you are 'not there'?
I'll be very honest here. This seems to me like an undecided "I want to leave you, but I don't want to" mixed signal thing, I just don't think I'd be able to do that. Inevitably I'd either start looking back or leave.
Regarding just leaving, I know I've read people's stiches and thought it would be better for them to make a statement and leave, cause staying/pursuing clearly wasn't working out for them.
But of course the hardest thing to do is to listen to your own advice. I feel like I have so much to lose. Maybe I'm not critical enough about out R, but I think that staying is working out for us most of the time, just that there are times/issues where it goes wrong. If this went on unattended for another 10 years then I would feel it more justified to go with such and extreme route. But now it just feels too soon.
Please hit me with a 2x4 if needs be!
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
