Beyond Depression..but still a losing battle?

[Lucky11too]

Thanks! It's already been eventful weekend. Earlier this week, H had said that we should see if I can get off early one day last week and go celebrate getting the new place with sushi. I found out I would be off early anyways for Friday for the labor day holiday weekend, so I asked H if he wanted to meet up. Originally he said no b/c he had to work early-ish. Friday came and he said he would like to meet up, so he drove all the way down here just to have a 30 minute meal with me only to have to turn around and drive all the way back to work (with traffic and all!) I was floored that he would make that much effort! It was nice. We ended up meeting at a mexican food place instead. It was happy hour, so we grabbed a margarita and some appetizers and must caught up. Then he told me that we needed to get fingerprinted asap to finalize their license, so asked if it would be ok to come over after work (2am-ish) so we could go in the morning (the fingerprinting place is down by my house).

So, he came over after work and it actually went really really well. We had some great conversation. I was validating a lot of what he said, not as a technique, but b/c I actually agreed with him and he kept saying how I am the only one who understands. I didn't want to overdo that point, so I just kind of nodded in agreement. We also had a really interesting religion discussion. He didn't attack me at all for my religion, but was more of a discussion of how he just doesn't feel able to connect to God. We've learned from brain scans that there is a portion of your brain in religious people that is more active, and H has ZERO activity there (my take on it is that it's not that your brain makes you believe that there is a God but it allows you to be open to that connection, if that makes sense). So we had this discussion about why there are so many different religions, is religion just a feeling etc. No answers exactly, but it was the first time in a long time that I actually felt some morsal of hope again.

Today was a a different story. Everything that could go wrong did. H's dad couldn't find the fingerprint papers, then it turns out you have to make an appt to go, and H finds out that his sister and sister's family have been going thru, taking, and doing who know's what with all of his (our) stuff there. (when H officially moved out of our house last year, obviously he couldn't take all of it to his apartment, so it got stored in his sister's garage. I took everything I really wanted out first and put it in my own storage unit, so I'm not really hurt by all this, but there are a few "us" things that were there like camping gear, etc). Anyways, H went off the handle at his mom b/c she knew and didn't tell them. It was so ackward and I just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. That put H completely off tho and he became a completely different person again from yesterday. It's great b/c I can see the hope but on the other hand, it's becoming so painfully obvious that he is no where near getting his own mind and emotions in check...and I can't have him losing it like that at me or S. While I'm in this decision time these next few months, I'm just going to keep encouraging him to get help!

In better news though, everything is all set for the S's b-day party tomorrow! We should have a great turnout and beautiful weather, so it is all exciting. =)