NM, thank you SO much for taking all that time and putting so much thought into replying to my posts!!!!! I've been keeping up on your thread and know how unbelievably busy you are right now, so it means all the more. Thank you!
I hope you are having a TERRIFIC time at your Meetup and don't read this for awhile! And I think it's great what Zoobrew texted you - since you turned me on to Meetup, I understand exactly how much effort it takes for him to know what you're doing tonight and I think it was really nice of him to do his homework like that. 1 (at least) point for Zoobrew in the Effort category!
Back to my posting, you bring up an excellent point that my goals are kind of muddled. It's true. I want to - and WILL - keep refining them.
So then, back to Goal 1: I want some reassurance that Mr. A's intentions are honorable.
What does that really mean? I will feel SO USED if it turns out that Mr. A has been hooking up with me to feed his ego while he's been trolling for a new GF. Let's not forget that we went to divorce court and he divorced me. !!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!! I definitely don't want that to happen. It is my GOAL for that NOT to happen!!! So I guess that's my definition of honorable...
Moving on from that awful idea, Freckle in Piecing gives a bit of really good advice: Don't ask a question if you're not prepared for the answer.
Well, I guess - with regard to Goal 1 - I won't be asking Mr. A if he wants to remarry me. Or if he thinks he made the biggest mistake of his life by leaving. I don't want to hear what he has to say about those questions right now!
In the meantime, I just want to know whether or not he's still playing the field. If so, I don't want to be intimate with him. The thought of it makes me sick.
So right now I'm working on the assumption that he isn't seeing anyone else, but I have no proof. I only have "signs".
Basically, the signs are that he's spending time with me, initiating contact, and showing *SOME* interest in my life (not goo-goo-gaa-gaa interest, but a lot more than he was at the end).
So the question is whether to push the exclusivity issue or to let him bring it up. There are pros and cons to both:
Pros to pushing it: We're divorced now, and I find out one way or another what he's thinking.
Cons: He may not know exactly what he's thinking. AND - it may just be another instance of me asking him a lose-lose question. BTW, that's another thing I've learned: Don't put people you care about in situations where whatever they say is wrong.
I do it myself (but am trying not to!) and I notice other people do it too. Here is a recent example that has nothing to do with Mr. A.
I had an important question for my boss on Friday afternoon and he was nowhere to be found. I was kind of irritated. It crossed my mind to send him an email: "What, are you on the golf course? There's work to do around here! :)"
Even though I would have sent it jokingly, there was no right answer for him OR me! He could say, Yes, and I'm your boss so stay out of it! Or he could say, No, I'm working my ass off and you're totally out of line for saying that.
I didn't send the email, so it's a moot point except to show that sometimes Mrs. A is inclined to set people up. And I don't want to do that with Mr. A now; thus, I don't know how to broach the exclusivity issue.
Any ideas how I ask Mr. A whether or not we're exclusive???
1 (at least) point for Zoobrew in the Effort category! 
