I mean, do they remember all the lies they told, all the hurt and pain they've caused? If an affair or MLC changes them temporarily, when they "wake up", or start dealing with reality again, do they remember it all? It's my hopefulness coming out I think. I try not to be too hopeful, but think a little bit doesn't hurt. Just asking.
From my experience, yes, they remember. However, I don't think they can ever really understand the pain they caused. The hard part is trying to balance working on your M and letting your spouse know how hurt you were/are. At first my H was very apologetic. Then it died down and I was left wondering "Does he really think it's all okay now?" I've learned thru MC the guilt he has, the low opinion he has of himself and the hurt he feels knowing what he has done to his family.
One thing though. Although H remembers what happened, he can not explain "why" he did it. He still gives me an "I don't know what I was thinking." It is a bit frustrating at times...and a bit scary.
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
