You know my advice runs counter to 98% of the advice on this board, so we can both expect others to disagree. But, I managed to save my marriage with my own advice, and I have the benefit of having learned from the Retrouvaille program, so I continue to hold my own here.
I am proud of the way you handled yourself with her. You stood tall and asked for what you wanted -- no crying, begging, manipulation, games etc. And you got as much of a response as she is ready to give.
First of all, she was not prepared for the question. She didn't have a well thought out answer at hand. Secondly, you are different than the way she remembers you. What you need is face time with her so she can see the new you. Running the dogs is exactly that -- time to just be the new you with her, no strings attached. So take it. But don't pursue her to get it. Be patient and keep the upright man disposition you used today whenever talking to her.
I respect your advice, because you speak YOUR truth.
Thank you for your compliment and support.
I agree, we need face time, but I'm not going to pursue it. It's in her court. I'm also feeling like not waiting for it either. That's my problem. I'm tired of dragging around my bum limb and I'm thinking of amputating it.
I had 2 beagles, a beagle/lhasa apso mix and a havanese. One beagle passed away last summer and we got a cavalier king charles spaniel.
Awesome pack.
Haha. My Beagle is the most independent and entertaining dog I've ever had. I swear she use to be like a "Cat" stuck in a dogs body. The Springer is the lovable one lol.
That is an awesome pack of entertainment you have.
Originally Posted By: pookie69
Quote:
She said I don't know, we can run the dogs together sometime. Then she said "I'll try to put it into words one day.
Run the dogs with her and wait for the words.
I am no expert here but I have waited for 4 months for the signs to read and I am very careful to jump to any conclusions.
I hear ya...I'm by no means an expert either, that's why I soak up knowledge here like a sponge. I put what I feel and what I did out in the open so that somebody that has an opinion or advice can help me with clarity. Also let me know if I screwed up and remind me of that.
I will run the dogs with her, that was HER idea. However, I refuse to bring it up again she will have to speak from now on. After today, there is no friggin point to ask her anything ever again.
I see you have no kids. We are on a same page here as far as our "kids" are concerned.
I have made a decision that when in a few days my W is going to choose a complete separation, I will leave the house and the dogs with her.
It breaks my heart, but they cannot be broken up and removed from their home. I've seen it before how dogs will stress over loss of a master or over a relocation.
She will have to live with that decision.
At the same time it would give me the key to keep in contact of my choosing.
She is vacationing right now and I'm sitting here with my "kids". It is very hard to imagine my life without them. They are so innocent and have nothing to do with our human evil doings.
I see you have no kids. We are on a same page here as far as our "kids" are concerned.
I have made a decision that when in a few days my W is going to choose a complete separation, I will leave the house and the dogs with her.
It breaks my heart, but they cannot be broken up and removed from their home. I've seen it before how dogs will stress over loss of a master or over a relocation.
She will have to live with that decision.
At the same time it would give me the key to keep in contact of my choosing.
She is vacationing right now and I'm sitting here with my "kids". It is very hard to imagine my life without them. They are so innocent and have nothing to do with our human evil doings.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Couldn't agree with you more. My Beagle wigged when she left today...took her about an hour to calm down. If I was to move them, it would probably be way too stressful for the old one.
Thing is, we have to sell the house, but I'll do whatever it takes to protect my "Kids"
Just ran into my W and her "Man" coming out of a store.
Went to kick his ass and stopped myself. I'm extremely UPSET and need guidance.
This morning, I flat out asked her if she is seeing somebody? Her Exact words..."No, I'm not" "Quit looking at me like I'm lying" No look was given, but I watched her lie str8 face and now have proof.
"Why did you feel you had to lie? You just cursed your own well being. Told her she was good at it too (WOA). Oh Well, thanks given to God I have closure. Finally. Take care and have a good day"
LOL maybe I was wrong to say anything, but it felt good.
"Why did you feel you had to lie? You just cursed your own well being. Told her she was good at it too (WOA). Oh Well, thanks given to God I have closure. Finally. Take care and have a good day"
LOL maybe I was wrong to say anything, but it felt good.
I would have waited on that.
"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."
