Glad to see that you posted. I am not more enlighten than anyone else on these boards - I can only offer my opinion.
Hope - Hope always exists - it exists just because it does. We hope we wake up tomorrow, we hope that we do not die in our sleep, we hope the car turns on tomorrow, we hope we do not get laid off, we hope, we hope, we hope. How much energy do we expand in the above examples? None really...we just hope. So apply this to the idea or HOPE of a reconciled relationship. You can hope...just do not let it consume you.
PIE - You love your H..it is so obvious in your post. I think the struggle you are having is patience and control.
Your H appears to be peeking out and testing the waters. He may still be confused. You are trying to figure out what to do, what not to do, what to say, what not to say. Stop for a second and ask yourself this question....Do you want your H back because HE love YOU for being YOU?
I suspect the answer is YES..well then PIE...Be yourself. Stop trying to figure out if you should say hello, say goodbye, do this, do that...DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. Just be yourself. You know that you should not bring up R talk...outside of that really, just do what you want to do. What you are showing him are the changes in YOU, you are showing him how YOU feel. In the end, he may or may not see it..either way YOU are being true to YOU.
I hope this helps.
GOd Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
