INTERESTED IN MLC FOR LBS

[fisherman]

What's up Grit!

That's a great way of putting it.

I agree, and was less concerned with the actual words Bobby used to describe it and more concerned with how he really feels.

I don't think you'll find too many folks here that will disagree that MLC'ers are hurting and do act like teenagers.

That's not some terrible or abusive insult IMO. It is what it is.

I may just have to have a beer or two tonight as well.

I like the whole little Friday thing, but in my case, I think Thirsty Thursday is more fitting.

[ericmsant2]

Bobby,

I know you see a lot of stuff on your thread right now...keep focused on you. Keep working on detaching and let us know how you are doing tomorrow.

Eric

[Bobby O]

Well, my wife is moving tomorrow at 9am. She told me what she is taking in the way of furniture. She finally admitted to me that she has filed for divorce and that she does not want to reconcilliate. I just listened and told her that the door was opened if she wanted to come back in the future but that I felt there would need to be individual and joint therapy if we were to get back together again. I then went for a walk and I must say I am quite angry and upset at present. I told her I would not be around for the next 2 days and that she was to lock the house when she leaves. Now I have to stay focused on me and my kids. I am still going out with friends this weekend. Bobby o

[ericmsant2]

Bobby

I am sorry to hear that your W filed for divorce.

that she does not want to reconcilliate

This is how SHE feels right now. Time has a funny way of changing peoples mind. Right now though, your focus really needs to be on YOU. At the end of the day, you will remain.

I just listened and told her that the door was opened if she wanted to come back in the future

Listening was good. Telling her that the door was open was good as well. I think you did really well with this interaction and you should be proud of yourself.

I must say I am quite angry and upset at present

People think it is wrong to be angry. No - what is wrong is holding on to that anger. Holding on to the anger will just build resentment. It will drain you of YOUR energy. This does no good for Bobby or Bobby's kids. In order to truly heal you need to feel the anger, process it if you will. How do you plan to do this Bobby? What steps are you going to take to ensure that you release this anger?

Now I have to stay focused on me and my kids.

Bobby - the tendancy when your MLCer says that she has filed is to give up. Throw up the hands and say F it. The decision to "stand" for your M for YOU is one that you will have to make. Personally, I would suggest that you do not make any rash decisions right now. You are right to focus on the kids and Bobby - your kids will need to see the strength in you. It will be hard, make no mistake about it. Just know that you will be fine.

I am still going out with friends this weekend.

Good for you!

Have a great labor day weekend.

God Bless,
Eric

[Bobby O]

Today is the move out date for my wife. This is a very sad day for me. I went to my sons house last night to stay. I felt it was very painful to sit and watch her move. She will be filing papers for divorce this week. The journey for both myself and wife continues. I prayed hard last night to have the Lord bring us together once again. I have a lot of friends and family support which is helping me very much. I have done more reading and will have to do the Last Resort Technique. I will also try to be very upbeat around my daughters. I hope we are still married in a year from today. Bobby O

[Lotus]

Bobby,

Stay strong. You are doing well in not letting her rattle you. moving out on her own might give her a taste of reality that she needs. It's not over til the fat lady sings, as they say!

[seeking answers]

Bobby,

My heart goes out to you. Please take care of yourself.

We're here walking the path with you.

[Albuquerque]

Bobby,

Stay strong, keep learning, keep living. It may not seem like it, but the space may be just what both of you need to reevaluate everything.

[Bobby O]

I am in the library at present. I went by my house and there was still activity so I stayed away. I noticed that my wifes car was still in the driveway. I wished I could have been in her mind to see if she has regrets. I miss her sooooo much. I will stay busy and focused on me. I plan to maybe take a trip to NYC in 2 weeks. I will get together with friends. I hope I will be strong when I see a partially empty house. I will continue the journey and prayer. Bobby O

[TulsaTime]

BO,

It will be rough, maybe for awhile, but you WILL make it.