Well I come across things on the internet that I'd normally send him (funny or cool things), but I stop myself since I was trying to stop pursuing. But maybe it's going too far only to reply to him and never to come up with things myself?
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
I just re-read Coach's sitch from beginning to end, and it looks like Coach was not totally dark or waiting for Greek always to initiate, butactually WAS initiating contact with Greek, just not R-oriented contact. Could you guys comment on that a bit more? (content, frequency, did you wait til R had reached certain stage of communication, why did you decide NOT to be totally dark or waiting for other to initiate, etc.)
Me-53 W-49 D22,D18,D15 T-Since-12/2001 Married-9/2004 She Moved Out-5/28/2010 Piecing start-04/2011 Now-together Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
Yesterday I sent him an article I came across but no reply. But then, we often send each other stuffs like that and only reply when we have actually something pertinent to say... So I decided to act as if and send him a short email asking what's up and kind of updating on me, saying I've been busy with training the last two days and I'm going to an exhibition today.
The ambiguity of "things are apparently ok, but yet we're not talking" is just tiring. If there's something wrong, I'd rather talk about it, or even have an argument if it comes to that, but not talking in order to avoid issues doesn't do good to anyone.
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
If there's something wrong, I'd rather talk about it, or even have an argument if it comes to that, but not talking in order to avoid issues doesn't do good to anyone.
To the unenlightened male mind, often "not talking" = progress compared to arguing.
Sad, but often true.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I think that this represent's my H's point of view pretty well. Some time ago I said I would like us to talk (not a one-time "talk" but just in general, because we didn't talk (almost) at all for a few days) and he said he doesn't want to talk because we will just fight. But to me, the not talking doesn't lead anywhere? While talking or even arguing can lead to resolving the problem.
I don't really do the "quiet steaming and just getting mad" very well, when something bothers me I want to do something about it (whether I do it or not is another thing, but I do want to). So what can I do? Is it just how he deals with things and I should leave him to it and just wait for the explosion?
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
Unfortunately, I don't know. You can talk to folks here, but the problem there is that most of the men here didn't wake up until their marriage was either on the rocks or over.
Even Coach will tell you that his awakening happened when Greek left him, and I would hate to recommend anything that extreme in your case because there is a danger the Marriage will end.
Have you read "The Divorce Remedy"?
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
You could try to detach 'as if' you are moving on (without leaving your marraige), do the GAL stuff, and so on. You could work on you, and if you do it successfully, he might notice you are 'not there'?
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
