My thank you to 12bar, I know there's a chance you may never read this, as you're on with your life now and might never see this post. But I wanted to tell you how important you've been to me in this journey. You always seemed to be there when I needed you, and for that I'll always be grateful. One comment you made to me that I'll always remember, was after a particularly hard day. I was winging out about my sitch, I felt overwhelmed angry and lost all at the same time. I went on and on in my post and just felt helpless. And you replied that 'it was ok, to just let it out'. That stays with me still, and I think it always will. It was so surprising to me that someone would stand by me - and a total stranger at that, someone I've never even met - and let me feel what I needed to, express it how I needed to, and that I (and everything else) was going to be ok. It was incredibly reassuring; incredibly validating.
I also thank you for helping me remember how important it is to create a strong circle of friends for myself and to GAL!!!. Although I'm thinking of how dirty my car is right now (Ack!), that first day I cleaned it out was such an important first step for me. I still remember how good that felt listening to the vacuum go 'schnoook squoook' (I LOVE that noise!!) as it picked up all the dust and mess off the carpets, and how wonderful it felt to sit in it after it was tidy and nice, and to know I gave this little gift to myself. Thank you also for encouraging me to continue playing my guitar... it's one of the things I treasure most in my life. I hope one day I'll be as good at it, as I imagine you are!
I thank you for being there for me that one Sunday when I felt like I was falling apart. I think my H was off on yet another weekend trip and I felt so alone, so discarded. All I could do was just sit and cry, be angry and yell at no-one. When I posted asking if you were around, there you were. I think you were cleaning your car and you still took time away from your day to listen to me, and to offer your kind insights. I can't tell you what a difference that made to me, to reach out in that moment and to receive your support and help. Still chokes me up so that's all I can say about that right now.
Finally, thank you for just staying there with me through the worst of it. For reading my sometimes never-ending self-analyzing posts. It made me feel like I wasn't alone. I'll always remember that.
I'll continue to think good strengthening thoughts for you, your W and your M. Warm hugs to you 12bar, you deserve all the happiness and love in the world.
And if you'll excuse me, I have to go clean out my car now.
All my best, Prairiegirl.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
as it picked up all the dust and mess off the carpets, and how wonderful it felt to sit in it after it was tidy and nice, and to know I gave this little gift to myself. Thank you also for encouraging me to continue playing my guitar... it's one of the things I treasure most in my life. I hope one day I'll be as good at it, as I imagine you are!
and you still took time away from your day to listen to me, and to offer your kind insights. I can't tell you what a difference that made to me, to reach out in that moment and to receive your support and help. Still chokes me up so that's all I can say about that right now.
