I just don't agree that this cuts only one way: "It's courageous to stand; you 'haven't done the work' if you don't."
Pup I agree that most people who come here do have dysfunction. I would admit I was one of those people.
You always hear me talk about the process and I believe part of that process involves standing while you do your work.
That is just what I experienced. It was/is an expression of myself.
I think we both agree that it takes time and work for the LBS to heal and grow.
I would not and believe you would not consider it a success if someone leaves their M before they undersstand why and what they are doing nor would I say staying in your M because you fear losing your spouse or that it reflects on your own self worth if you don't save your M are equally unhealthy.
And you know I believe as Wonka said MLC throws a wrinkle into it.
I know you are basing your belief on what you experienced and yours is one of reconciled M and so can't argue what you say is not true. It was true for you and others I think.
Equally I am only a witness to my own journey and I was careful to point that is what it is based on.
My M has not reconciled. I don't know if it will. But I do not measure my success based on that.
You saw me when I first started posting here way back in Feb.
This process has definitely changed me and my understanding of things.
The point is I am not basing my decision out of fear but understanding.
The possibility of losing your M and your spouse are there with either decision.
And the LBS must come to that realization regardless of the choice.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
