Blindsided, Just served with papers!

[TimeHeals]

I do feel she has not looked, or wont look at the long term affects of her decisions.

Communications 101: you think that she hasn't looked at the long-term consequences.

You do not feel this. You feel things, but this is not an emotion. This is a judgement.

There's something for you to work on, and it's very present-oriented: What does DSH feel?

List of Emotions

This may be a very good judgement. You know better than me.

But what does that tell you?

I feel my W's LL is constant attention, which exhausts me. When I gave her that, it was draining and it did not feel "healthy" for me.

Just a thought here, but what if it was constant because she was always trying to get something from you that she wasn't getting? Again, I don't know. But is it possible that while you were looking forward, making plans for the future, and so on... that she just wanted you to let her know that she was "special" ?

I don't think you would have come here if deep-down you didn't believe there was something very special about your wife. How did you show her that?

More importantly: can you see it in her in your interactions now? If you can see it, then you can say it ... not because you want anything from her, but just because you see it.