So nice to hear back from you Sandi! You're such a dear, and you've helped so many of us in this community. Your family and friends are also very lucky indeed, to have you in their lives!
You know, I also meant to tell you how much you reached me, even beyond sharing your sister's story. By sharing your insights, listening, and encouraging me to respect myself, I just felt very valued and cared about; like my life and happiness mattered to someone. I also remember you sharing that I should feel cherished by my H - that really caught at me and helped me speak up when I wasn't feeling that way. I think I resisted it at first, as we all do when confronted with the need to change. But I think this was the beginnings of those changes for me. Little by little those 'seeds' of care offered us by others (like you!) begin to grow, until they're strong enough that one day we can start loving ourselves and asking for it from others. I guess, overall, you helped me realize it was ok to want and need that care and respect - from my myself, from my H, and others in my life.
That made me laugh and smile too, to hear you 'heard' yourself in my conversation with my H (about feeling important). It's so important to share with one another how important they are to us, isn't it?
And oh I agree so much - about how H's often just don't realize the things we want to hear, even though the feelings are there. It must be very frustrating for them. So yes, I agree that we must tell them what we want. At first I feared my H would feel controlled, or that I'd be trying to 'change' him from 'who he really is'. But I'm seeing that my H actually wants to know what I want [well most of the time! ]! And (again, most of the time!) he does his best to give it to me, if it's something he's able to give. So I'm learning it's very important to: know what we want, to feel entitled to wanting it, and finally to know how we can get it - whether it's something we can give ourselves, or if it's something we need to ask another for. It's been quite a journey, and I hope I continue learning.
So yes, thank you again so much - I do feel like I'm starting a new, brighter chapter in my life. I can never thank you enough for the support you gave me in helping me here. Warm hugs right back to you and I continue to think good healing and strengthening thoughts for you, your sister, and family. All my best, PG.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
]! And (again, most of the time!) he does his best to give it to me, if it's something he's able to give. So I'm learning it's very important to: know what we want, to feel entitled to wanting it, and finally to know how we can get it - whether it's something we can give ourselves, or if it's something we need to ask another for. It's been quite a journey, and I hope I continue learning.