Divorce? The sharpest knife in the drawer. And she knows it's there. She knows it was a possibility when she started the A. I think she is aware that she risked that.
I disagree, TG. That's simply NOT been my experience. Most FWAWs report that they were STUNNED that their betrayed spouse filed. Mine certainly was. It's a "credible use of force" thing. To be credible, one has to believe that the other has both the capacity and the willingness to use it. Many, MANY of the newcomers with whom I post come hear practically DRIPPING with fear, and don't think that their husbands and wives can't smell it too.
Whatever you feel about one's moral right to ultimately file for divorce in these situations (and reasonable people can and do disagree on it), I don't think you can say that the walkaway/cheating/MLC spouse -- in their fogged-out condition -- has any real sense that their spouse may file for divorce.
More thoughts on the rest of your post later . . . GD.5 is giving me "raspberries," which means she's about had it, LOL.
