If you haven't responded to your W yet, try something funny
"Dogs are fine. I'm teaching them to play cards.".
LOL, they are actually reading King Lear right now.
send her exactly that.
assign roles to each of the dogs get her to help
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I did text her back. She went dark. I know it wasn't my humor, she is used to that. I used to torture her with Monty Python marathons.
She has guests, she is busy. I am not reading anything into it.
So I decided not to have a party. Boring faces of some of my friends just did not get me motivated. The faces are in my head and that's where I leave them.
Went out to a riverside bar. I never really liked it there because there is so much weirdness from people with MLC (my age) trying to pick each other up. Usually it's in a night time so I felt safe to head over there in the afternoon.
While I was actively participating here on my phone, two lovely ladies sat next to me. Their pick up lines weren't so far behind.
The flirting went on for hours. While I was typing my responses here they were curious what I was doing. I told them that I am a therapist and my clients are in a constant contact with me.
That started a very interesting conversation. One of them was in the middle of divorce and another already done with it and very, very horny.
They pulled out business cards from their purses and wrote down personal cell phone numbers. They were heading over to a big party later and wondered if I wanted to tag along.
I thanked them for the cards and placed them next to my beer glass. I bought them a round of drinks, closed my tab, thanked them for the company, left the cards where I put them and left.
So I’m back here and feeling good.
The dogs will have a performance later so I have to get their wardrobe ready.
W came home this morning. Dogs were all happy to be back together.
W looked happy but tired. I smiled and said welcome back. She asked me for help to unload her car. I did.
She wasn't in a mood to talk so I did not ask anything more. It's strange - I really am not interested.
She laid down on a couch and went to sleep. I quietly left.
So here I am enjoying a sunny day and thinking about how should I feel. It's odd how this detachement business has made me numb. I don't feel anything at all. I should be feeling something. If she announces that she agrees to work on R I should feel joy. If not I should feel sadness.
But I don't feel squat. I guess it's a good thing. I can then honestly respect her choice when she is ready to give it to me.
And waiting for that moment causes me zero anxiety. How weirdly cool is that?
"It's a beautiful day The sun is shining I feel good And no-one's gonna stop me now, oh yeah
It's a beautiful day I fell good, I fell right And no-one, no-one's gonna stop me now Mama
Sometimes I fell so sad, so sad, so bad But no-one's gonna stop me now, no-one It's hopeless - so hopeless to even try"
W just called. I wasn't going to pick up first but then realized that there will be music heard in the background so I did.
She told me that she's going to see her mom for awhile and named the place where they would meet. There was a pause. I said, okay I'll see you later then and hung up.
Even if she was waiting to see if I wanted to invite myself to meet them, I do not want tobright now.
She has not spoken to her mom after my "choice speech" which happened after her mom and her friend left the lakehouse.
I wonder if W is going to look for guidance from her mommy now that I dropped the rope and threw the ball to her court.
It is good that you have successfully detached. I wish I could say the same. I was successful not looking at the dating site that my W is on for 5 to 6 days, but was too curious today as you are well aware.
Definetly, have to focus on GAL. It is just difficult with a long holiday weekend because we would always plan to go away. Now I am sitting on the DB site and analyzing about 10 threads from the current and past to see what was successful and what failed like I would analyzing Income/Profit and Balance sheets.
I realize anger is the enemy as well as speculation. I cannot control my spouse, but I can control me and who I want to be. I am recomitting my goals ensureing that there are plans so that they are attainable. I will attempt to fully detach and let her come to me. She will have to one of these days for D or recomitting to R. Though, I am not sure if I should set a time boundary? I realize that I have value to someone out there.
trying to pick each other up. Usually it's in a night time so I felt safe to head over there in the afternoon.
