I didn't sleep well last night trying to figure out how best to communicate with my W w/o appearing to be pursuing/pushing her. She holds all of the cards at this moment and if we do not start communicating soon my fear is the inevitable D.
That is why I was considering LRT because it appeared to have some effect in the past, but maybe not, maybe just me forwarding her Dr's appointment thawed her out enough to say "Thank you, and please let her know of important mail and messages".
Since I have let her go I am really considering not acknowledging her b-day this coming week. Even a simple signed card rewards her bad behavior. But then again, I do not want her to think that I am angry with her supporting a negative feeling towards me...
I need to GAL for myself...I know that already. One of my goals is to have my W initiate communication with me. She did sort of that by requesting an action from me and I responded in kind (a 180 because by now the "old me" would have shown frustation and anger). So how do I assist this single thread of communication from her to flourish into true dialogue?
I have a little positive momentum going at this time or I have at least stalled the negative spiral. So my gut tells me to acknowledge her b-day with a simple card. It maybe rewarding negative behavior and be considered pursuing, but it will not reinforce her negative feelings towards me. Unless she sees it as weak from me. I need her to feel comfortable talking with me.
I know her, she is very sentimental. She had and probably still has all of the letters and cards and even rose petals from the first dozen roses that I sent her in her keepsake. I also know that she has all of the emails that I have sent her still on her work computer. So the card would probably mean something to her...still and reinforce positive feelings. I need all of the openings that I can get!
