Im about to hit the sheets, and I thought of something tonight. About A week before the bomb, our Mastiff who is a four year old female was thought to have fungal pnemonia, could be fatal, but the W cried and laid with her on the floor back then. Since then she has been recovering and our vet said its just a bacterial infection fo the lungs. The mastiff is god now, but when separated she had the chance to take the mastiff with her, she said she didnt want to separate the dogs. Here we are, I had to put one down 3 days ago, and the mastiff and our S's akita are with me.
She could have taken the mastiff, Akitas are very dominant and dont need a sidekick, I told the W take her with you, she said her landlord does not allow dogs. @ things came to mind, she didnt want the extra weight? Could my W not know how to love? I question this a lot. SHe is not a bad mother, but she seems to be disconected with our kids. She thinks being someone who puts them to bed, feeds them and organizes their daily grind is a loving parent.... but that isnt it. I hold them, tend to them and put their needs above mine, that is where we are different.
That is the difference, when she strayed, I put my kds first, was I hurt? yes. Did I protect them? yes. In doing so did I piss the W off to no end? yes but i didnt care about her feelings, she chose her path and it did not seem to bother her what she was doing to the kids. So I shielded the kids from her actions.
This go round she seems to be "together". But she has no clue how hard it is. She is going on 2 weeks of this, taking care of the kids, and working 60 hours a week. I did it for 6 months, it wasnt easy but I did it.
I dont think my W knows how to love someone, maybe its her childhood, maybe its her lack of love from her family off and on for so many years. She has issues she either deals with or they will haunt her for the rest of her life.....
