Okay, my computer is running really slow tonight so I won't be able to post much right now. But first (before I forget), I want to say this about your 15 yr old. You exposing her mother's A to her should be saved for the very last. But the reason I brought it up in my first post was to point out something. In my case, the thought of my children(who are grown)being told about my EA/on-line-activity was more than I could bear. In fact, when my H confronted me.....I told him I would hate him till the day I died if he breathed a word to my kids. You see, that was "my" greatest "loss". To lose the position of honor and respect that they had always had for me was just too much. The second greatest loss would have been for my relatives/community/church/friends/workplace......in other words...the world....to know what I had done. My reputation.....my good name was very important to me.
As it turned out, my H did not "have" to out me to my kids b/c my D discovered what was going on when she got on my home computer. Apparently it was not intentionally, but it happened and she did not tell me for quite some time. I can admit, now, that that shocked and feeling that horrible shame had the greatest affect in shaking me out of the WAW "fog" that I was in.
Perhaps the picture of motherhood does not matter to your W. Maybe her D finding out is not that important to her, IDK, but "something" is. I was simply using that as an example.
Please do not do anything right now b/c you would be acting from emotions....and you don't want to do that. Just like exposing her to family, etc., is not to be vindictive. For now, you need to continue to gather your information of her activity. Yes, I was hard against snooping, at first. Know why? B/c I had that to happen to me! But, after much work on myself.....and after reading thousands of Pup's post....I was finally convinced. It must be done in order to know what is going on and how to proceed with the right results.
So, don't go blab to your D or anyone else, for now. I think I got your attention....
Well I ended up saying more than I intended, but I will get back with you. If you go over to the Infidelity forum, you'll find Puppy, Allen, and some more. Be prepared b/c it isn't for sissy's.......but you'll have it laid out in how to do what you need to do.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
