Yes, I *will* try to DB. It'll be hard because I sometimes get VERY mad at Mr. A. He really tests the F* out of my patience sometimes.
Like just now. I took a short break from the board and was trying to cook something. Meanwhile, I was having an internal dialogue. It went like this:
"Mr. A has been jerking me around for 16 months. Forget it! I don't NEED that! Who on earth does he think he is that he can treat me this way? My relationship with him is self-demeaning and self-defeating."
So yep, I have these little chats with myself a lot. But then I see someone who's actually treating someone that way and I don't want to do that! I want to have boundaries, but I don't want to be so "principled" with a person that I forget they're human! That can happen with anyone, BTW.
Let me give an example of the OPPOSITE from this afternoon.
I spent a 25 minutes at lunch sorting recycling and getting mad (internally) at Mr. A. Then I went to my favorite little lunch spot to get a sandwich. Usually it takes 5 minutes.
I didn't have much of a chance there to think about Mr. A BECAUSE----there was a man there who was on drugs or something and he was taking up the shopkeeper's time. There was also another woman there.
Now I should interject here that this is a true Polish deli and there are a lot of people from Poland who come here to get their groceries.
The man in question was not Polish and had no clue about Polish food. He was looking at the frozen perogis and asking, can I microwave these? Which one is the one with meat? What exactly do you mean by potato, cheese, and potato & cheese? Etc., etc.
Then I had a good lesson in boundaries followed by a not-so-good lesson in boundaries.
Good lesson: The Polish lady said, "Ahem, sir, no disrespect intended, but I am on my lunch hour and I've been waiting nearly 30 minutes. If you want to take your time, please let those of us in a hurry finish our shopping first." NICE!!!
But then the man replied back: "Pardon me, madam, but I want to get on with my business just as much as you do. I was here first. I will finish my shopping and then you can have your turn."
It was awkward, yes, but I thought, Good for the lady - she said something, and politely at that! (BTW, this is such an "Ann Arbor" thing to happen - BA, if you're reading this, you'll understand!!)
Then the lady started apologizing to MOI! Try to imagine this. She said, I'm not usually so rude, but I've been waiting here forever! I said, You weren't rude at all - forget it! She said, I just need to order my deli meats!
Meanwhile, the man was still taking the attention of the shopkeeper. They finally finished.
Then the man said loudly, "These bags are too heavy. I can't possibly carry them uphill to where I live! I'll pay someone $3 to give me a ride home."
Well the Polish lady ended up giving him a ride home. BUT - that [censored] - who was SOOOO lucky to get a ride - said at the end to the shopkeeper, "Goodbye, you Wicked Witch of the West. Love you!"
I couldn't believe it. What a total prick! He frustrated this other woman to the point that she lashed out at him and then felt guilty enough to offer to drive him home - and then he insulted the shopkeeper!
Needless to say, it got me to stop thinking about Mr. A for a minute. !!!!
Crazy!
Well, I guess I just needed to unload that story because it doesn't really relate (at least not in a linear way) to me and Mr. A. But it *was* quite amazing!!!
