New Thread - Same Sitch

[steady]

Very true! I swear sometimes it seems like when things are going decently and H fears I am acting "too happy" he thinks it's because I think things are fine - and he doesn't want me to think things are "fine". So, then it's like he pulls back because he wants to make sure I know he's still not ok.

He's actually trying to 'punish' you for being happy while he's not. After all, how could you be so happy while you see what's going on with me? Now let me be passive aggressive on a few levels - I'll pull away and get you to feel bad - that's for being so blatantly happy and flaunting it in my face.

I'll pull away so you can feel as bad as I do. After all, you shouldn't be allowed to be happy when I'm not.

I'm not sure he's doing it to make sure you remember he's not happy. I see it more as what I wrote above.

All the while, H doesn't realize I'm "happy" because I'm happy with myself! Has nothing to do with him!

Eventually he'll get the point he's not pulling your strings anymore. I expect his resentment to grow at that point. He'll up the ante.

You are pulling away from him and there's this rubber band between you. The further you move without him moving in the same direction the band gets tighter and tighter - he'll feel the uncomfortable feeling of himself being reflected back from you. You represent the thing he is not doing for himself. If he doesn't move, the band will just snap.