Mila, thanks for the reminder and thanks for stopping by. I wish that H/XH had had some kind of an emotional response to dropping the bomb, S, and D, like your H finally showed.....but he never did in my presence.
Over the last month or so I've seen evidence of just how much mind-reading XH does and it made me wonder about how many times during our R that H/XH added additional meaning to something I said. For example, In a July convo I told XH I was planning to go see the movie "Salt" the next day (just stating fact) and XH said "Maybe I'll go with you". This struck me as a bit odd since we had just started to do a few things together at that time, he didn't ask if I would like company, and assumed that I was going alone. The way he responded seemed like he thought I was inviting him to the movie........He's pretty smooth in social situations, but this struck me as an awkward teenager thing to do......
Journaling.......... So I think that I may have figured out why XH has been pulling away recently. He and BMF may be reconnecting. (For those of you tuning in late, BMF of 30 years is a narcissist and blocks intimacy in all of XH's Rs with women.) Tonight I'm REALLY annoyed with XH. He doesn't know that but I'm venting here, after praying about it earlier this evening.
Got a friendly e-mail from XH today that said "Going to the fair this afternoon/evening…with BMF! We haven't spoken eyeball to eyeball in 3.5 months. We have agreed to meet and chat about our differences…..hope that goes well."...........I'm angry for two reasons: (1) BMF is a VERY bad influence on XH. XH started reconnecting with me ONLY after he and BMF split in May, and (2) XH never once tried to "chat about OUR differences" before he steamrolled me into a D. It hurts......... and makes me think that XH will never understand that a M or other committed R can't work with a 3rd party in the middle. Makes me feel like I'm wasting my time standing for someone who looks like he may never "get" it. ................Think it's time to go dim for my sanity. I feel like I've been kicked in the gut. Am I overreacting?? If I am, please tell me.
Went to visit X-MIL tonight since she was discharged from hospital yesterday. Sent photo I took during visit to XH, like I always do (trying to act normal). Just got text reply from XH: "Hi from the Fair! BTW....all of your pics now come upside down......Is your phone held correctly??? Hi to mom!!!!"........sounds happy, so my guess is that he and BMF patched things up.
If anyone has a different perspective on what I've written, PLEASE chime in. I'm just tired of taking the high road throughout all of this. I'm tired and emotional right now. Maybe things will look different in the morning.
Thanks.
Badattitudegirl (BAG)
Last edited by goodattitudegirl; 09/04/1003:43 AM.
